Thieves Like Us.

Strange title I know but I haven’t had a go at the Scottish executive and the meenisters for oh, at least a fortnight, so I decided before oor trip to deepest darkest helms deep or Kilmarnock as it is known round oor way I would have a look at the hypocrisy of what the executive calls “sectarianism” and what in world wide terms is known as fitbaw banter. It’s just that the executive sees banter and anti social behaviour as being as thick as thieves, one of the same.

One look at the footballing fixtures last weekend showed a number of El Derbies, county rivalry or just good old fashioned toon on toon hatred that steams from ship canals or red light districts and cafes that sell exceedingly good and funny cakes.

1st up was Rotterdam V Amsterdam. Feyenoord v Ajax a derby bourne oot of jealousy of one vibrant city against one that feels it has been left behind. Out of this comes some anti Jewish songs from the Rotterdamers and some mocking of the so-called poorer relations from the Astemdamers, now, I for one can’t see, or have read of, Holland having an anti-Jewish problem and the Feyenord while being renowned for have a punch up here and there are not known as right wing.

So why the anti Jewish songs twice a year? To wind up their main rivals of course cause really apart from being their main challengers to honours and the fact they come from different cities what else to they have to cast up. Sod all, that’s what.

Manchester v Liverpool was next up. Another derby based on jealousy and perceived mistreatment and favouritism from governments. What songs get banded about during these games? Ones about Heysel, Hilsborough, Munich and songs about Scousers being robbers and Mancs being twats. Some of the aforementioned are worse than you will ever hear at a Gelsga derby.

On the way home from the fitbaw last week, I was listening to Terry Christen on Talksport and he was stoking up the hatred between the cities and if some of the callers had came on Real Radio or Clyde they would have been hung, drawn and quartered and found guilty of being sectarian bigots then publicly flogged by the 1st meenister as being part of scotlands secret shame.

But in the end it was all classed as banter, it was ok to degrade other people whom are not like you in the name of football. Nae chance of Tony Blair calling a summit to broker a peace deal between Manc, Scousers, Cockney’s, Midlanders, Yorkshire men, Geordies, Smoggies and Mackams to stop them singing their songs of hate.

Now every week up and down the length of Britain you hear calls on the radio which people will get called their slang name. It’s a way of identifying whom you are trying to abuse, to give the bird to and to basically wind them up. All the time you hear this, on holiday when speaking the international language of fitbaw you hear other teams being referred to Yid b*starts, Gooner b*starts, Manc gits, Scouse gits, wooleybacks and cockney w*nkers.

In Scotland it’s slightly different, even though we have slang terms for places fans come from the majority can be stuck into two categories. Orange or Fienian. Billy or Tim. Hun or Taig. All have these have only one thing in common. It’s a way of identifying who you are. These terms are used millions of times in a week without any underlying hatred or sectarian connotations.

But the meenisters think using these terms are different from calling someone a sheep or tuchter and some of our songs are more sinister than singing aboot coming from Cowdenbeath. Right I know some of the songs have no place at fitbaw games but what I’m trying to say is the executive are wasting their time trying to get rid of the terminology that goes hand in hand, world bloody wide, with identifying and taking the pesh oot of your rivals.

The executives ignorance of the situation has caused, heavy handed policing at away games and even home games, surveillance of the away support, several supporters buses being reported due to this surveillance- still no charges yet- and worst of all a certain support not to far from oorselves shopping each other cause a wee blue book tells them your not allowed to do that.

For me the executive are ignorant, when it comes to Celtic to what we do that constitutes as being sectarian. They struggle, as we are not sectarian. They have have tarred us with the same brush as they are tarring everyone with but are having difficulty identifying sectarian issues with us.

I’m glad Lawell last night on Radio Scotland said some people were ignorant to songs that are sung at CP which, some term as sectarian. This is basically a go at the meeja and their lazy broad-brush strokes, both as bad as each other and as thick as thieves’ attitude when reporting this issue.
I’m also glad Lawell stated that we have a problem with certain political songs aboot bloody time this was said by someone from the board. Right we have an element who like to get full of the drink and sing political songs, right we know that but we also now that some- mainly the younger schemie ones- use these songs as a wind up tool just the same as others singing aboot Hyesel or Munich.

Do they really mean it? I think we all know the answer to that. Aboot time the meenisters got educated and less ignorant aboot what is actually sectarian instead of fighting a battle on what has become banter patter and slang words. The whole sectarian issue is down to the ignorance of this country we call home the hypocrisy levelled at Celtic while others get away with worse acts of sectarianism- i.e the Tartan Army, gets lauded for their good natured banter.

Oh, we also have a game on Sunday which we may or may not hear certain songs but as long as we hammer the greeting faced loon and give us a confidence boost- if we really need one- for oor travels to lisboa then bring it on.

Hail Hail