No Good (Start The Dance)

What a difference 4 minutes make. Instead of talking aboot how once again we were hassled oot of the game in midfield, lacked creativity, oor passing, pace was non-existent, the fact it was a poor poor performance and one that Fawkirk will take advantage of if we turn up half cocked again we left the stadium bouncing, singing and dancing like big daft loons.

Fitbaw is an emotional game and there is nothing better or worse than late goals for getting your emotions pumping. Fitbaw is used as a vehicle to let go of your emotions after a week of pent up frustrations at your joab, mundane life and escape from the norm for a few hours. You put your happiness in the hands of a bunch of highly paid professionals some of whom don’t care a jot aboot your well-being.

Some guys use the emotions fitbaw generates to use it as an excuse to abuse others, act the goat, sing daft songs and fight with other like minded folk. The bit in the football factory when the hoolie meets his burd’s well to do parents and when asked what he like doing replied “weelll I like nuthin better than smacking some heads at the football bit of an escape you know from ma shite life”

While the vast majority wouldn’t dream off smacking heids in the name of fitbaw, being emotional involved disnae hauf bring oot the sadistic side of you. And last minute goals bring oot sides that are hidden deep in your genetic make up. You escape your normal behaviour and can start behaving like a caveman.

Everyone I spoke too after the game said the same thing. That beating them in the last minute was better than a 5-0 or a 4-0. It’s more a kick in the guts than a heavy defeat, which, they get time to get, used to the fact it’s happening. The elation they must have felt with 5 left must have been what we were feeling 10 mins latter. From that high to a low and we wished that pain on them and bloody enjoyed the fact they were hurting. We enjoyed the fact that their weekend had just been ruined. That they were locked in and had to put up with us geing them it tight big style.

I mean I didnae know any Hearts fan there, if they passed me in the street today I wouldnae know them from Adam. So why did I want to gloat and goad them so much? The fact there club has this image of being full of gobshites, bad winners, bad losers and their fans- not all I know some that hate a section of their support- for me are wannabes and canny see the bloody wood for the tree’s. Bridesmaid always will be until Romanov sells up and they join Third Lanark.

I wished their current manager who is on sick leave were there on the touchline to see the winner after his antics at Tynie earlier on in the season. I’m glad GS went mental and took to sledging an unknown player Hertz player after the winner, unsure what he was saying but it look like “get it up ye ur not so mouthy noo” I think this is a run on after GS was abused at Tynie during his setanta interview. Hope it was Hartley, the big gobshite.

Glad Craig Gordon gave me a Henry Henry drop the ball moment after his trips upfield a few seasons back for corner kicks, I’m glad Romanov had parked his Russian submarine in the Clyde to see a sicking blow delivered to his team. Blame the ref mate, dinny look for the faults in your team. Time wasting, cheating, playing for a draw gobshites. You nearly got away with it too.

I’m also glad that those who leave the stadium with 10 mins to go missed it as well. You got what you deserved, how many times do we do things like that at home? Still they don’t learn, still they leave usually after shouting abuse at players, missing half the 1st half to get a pie or taking photos or texting on their phones. They won’t have had the same feeling we all had when they heard the roar outside or in their car going up the London Road listening to the radio.

We went mental at the winning goal and after the final whistle. Never seen so much joy and gloating on the way oot the stadium. I left my seat in the gods to make my way doon the stairs when we got the corner. This is oor usual routine due to my cousin having sciatica in his back and the stairs are a pain for him. We move doon closer to the exit and find some seats to watch the end of the game, which is usually no problem. Celtic willnae move us, not even short term.

Anyway, ball across, McManus scalf and it’s in. Cue bedlam I’m jumping around like a loon, the guy sitting next to me looked like giant haystacks picked me up like I was some no mark wrestler, my mobbie smashed oot my pocket onto the floor, much to Mrs G annoyance who says that after the Benfica game will never watch another game with me again, and for a full 5 mins after the goal I was still jumping around.

Left the seat and went right doon the front of the top tier and gave the Hearts fans dogs abuse. Loved the fact they were bouncing around to Johnny Cashs “ Ring Of Fire” thinking victory was there’s and they had been deflated and reduced to getting oot the rid hands and union jacks.

Meet guys from the bus and they were bouncing around in the street. We spoke in raised voices and too fast blabbing aboot, Suttons winner against r*ngers whether that was better and i was told that the only reason I love beating them probably more than I love beating r*ngers is because I’ve been knocked oot twice on the Gorgie road.

Maybe, but over the years I have been privy to a few last minute winners. And have acted the same way whether it was Dundee Utd, Rangers or a few weeks back at Falkirk. Last minute goals make my £450 a season worthwhile if they go oor way. Right I’m embarrassed by the way I reacted. Would have been a divorce case if Mrs G thought I was bad watching the Benfica game on the box. See I’m a nervous watcher of my team, I fidget, get up and doon so when things like Saturday happen I explode as my nerves give way to pure joy.

So instead of releasing my tension by smacking heids I lose it by acting like a big wean. Maybe it’s just as bad, maybe I should grow up but if it happens again this season I will react the same way.

Think I pay for enough for that the privilege.

Hail Hail