The Lotw Diary- Friday..Jerry Fox Ma Knees Are Ready…

So Scotland couldnae dae what the hoops done in Milan and hold a tallie side for 90 mins. The game plan went oot the windae when a flick of Italian groomed heid and slack defending- zonal defending it’s evil I tell ye- caused Scotland to lose in Bari. No surprise, as really the performance was as guid as we could have expected when guys like Teale, McCulloch, Naysmith and Alexander get a game.

Talking this morning wie an Orc who was advocating a call up for Hutton, I know sad and deluded the guy has slept wie a full back and is a thug, but when reviewing the carthorses on the park is it any surprise Scotland couldnae dae what the hoops done?

Telfer and Naylor are better than Naysmith and Alexander. I mean how many times did they get caught oot? While Telfer may not be the best he knows his limitations, which is something Alexander disnny seem to. Naysmith is a bombscare that couldnae lace Naylor’s boots and if Wallie the cardie wants him guid luck.

Lee McCulloch is a buffoon. A large arsed coo who if he didnae declare his allegiance to the orc we would have knew anyway he was one. Apart from coming from Lanarkshire, his looks and thuggish non-existent playing style of elbows barging and fouling mixed wie a lack of fitbaw ability gives the game away. Another Wallie signing target as he ticks all the boxes for a prospective h*n leg-end.

So how did the hoops fair? Big Mick apart from being lost in the wrong zone at the goal, he was like a pensioner wie the wrong bus ticket trying to get on a Edinburg bus wie a Stirling ticket, and found to his cost that ye canny hoof Tallie playboys as they always get free kicks was Scotlands most impressive CB.

Biased opinion? Naw, ma orc mate agreed wie me after 6 pint of Carling. Mick done what Mick does, blocks, tackles and clears. Nothing fancy, nothing dandy just Mick. Nice to see Hugh McDonald in today’s Herald comparing him to Italian defenders saying they would have been impressed wie his display. Whisper this but….once he puts a tin lid on the rash and heavy tackles we may have a decent home-grown centre half.

In the middle Paul Hartley, again, gave the impression of a man in regression. Last night was thing Hibs Paul Hartley not the Paul Hartley we paid over a million for him, which is worrying. To put it bluntly Hartley has been a disappointment since he signed. Oor Zico needs to get his finger oot; Tanideechie on Saturday will do for starters.

Up front, Kenny was so blunt I have seen sharper butchers pencils. Materazzi and Cannavaro could have been listening to the finest Italian opera on the their Ipods, sitting by the lake at Como and KM still wouldnae have looked dangerous. But whoever thought KM is a lone front man who can hold up the ball and bring the midfield into play shouldnae really be a fitbaw manager.

Against the Tallies most looked like they shoulnae have been on the same park as them. I have to include Zico, Beats and KM in that assessment. We never looked like troubling them, I’m wondering if Materazzi will come home wie KM as KM must be stuck in his pocket, so looking at it through green tinted specs are those players guid enough to play at what is regarded the higher level that is Champs League?

So ma see you Jimmy hat are disregarded and the worry begins….

On to Saturday and the pampers are ready. The title precession, canter, walk over non-contest has become something of a contest. With the chance to win it before the split being blown by two second half performances that calling woeful do woeful a discredit. Also wie the split fixtures being unkind any slip-ups will be meet wie fear.

You see it’s all Scott McDonald’s fault. The wee bush kangaroo has ensured things will never be the same again. Strange thing is oor new Hoop being signed this week has brought back memories of that day just at the start of a period I don’t want to be reminded of that day.

The fallout from Black Sunday is we all will panic if in ANY game from now until the title is decided we go behind. The anxiety and bile from the stands, especially at home, will be almost unbearable. In fact I would be surprised if we see a decent performance from the hoops from now until the champers is popped. But that’s not right.

Professional players should thrive on pressure. They get paid enough and it has been wie them from an early age in the professional game. They should also want to be winners and have medals to show their grandkids.

Oor players should have got a wee kick up the arse in the last few weeks a wee reminder that the league is not won and that going thru the motions is not allowed. Something the management should have stopped happening but then again maybe they have been slack as well. Team selections, tactics and subs have all been questioned recently.

The last couple of weeks has rejuvenated ma season. Maybe it sounds as perverse as an Irvine Welsh drama I’m looking forward to a tension filled Saturday afternoon in the Dee. Ticket in hand, well not in hand yet, but I’m sure it’s for that death trap of the Jerry Fox stand. Ma kness still huvnae recovered from being in there last year. It was designed for waive like supermodels not 30-something podgy, balding reeking of cheap aftershave and stale drink bhoys that frequent the hoopy hardcore.

Make no mistake we need a result. Will be checking the website all afternoon, productivity dips ma boss says on a Friday, eh what’s that aboot? for news on the scunnering JVOH and on the returning internationals.

With the breaking news that JVOH is not as soft as a toley and could make it, debate will rage regarding his striking partner. Magic gets ma vote as beats and Miller have both had shots and blew it. Remember though Jarosik played up-front alongside JVOH the last time we visited the Dee.

Sno being injured and the forecast so bleak that the remainder of the season could be lous’d for the big fellow means everyone’s favourite topic of debate the Lurgan one gets a reprieve. Not that GS would have dropped a fellow ginger anyway.

We also need a result as the orcs are starting to believe. Lost count of how many times I have been asked how many points we have to go or heard them whispering aboot us dropping points here, them winning at ipox etc. we need to put that to bed.

Dust doon the battle scarf’s there is a league to be fought for.

FORZA THE HOOPS

The Lotw Diary...Tuesday....Stirring of the nationalistic loins.

Now, us that are not interested in international fitbaw have slightly become interested in international fitbaw. Nuthin to do wie the fact that Scotland now are 1) winning games or 2) contain a few hoops. Och, I’m lying it has everything to do wie that. You see we are all fickle, team pants? No interested, team-getting results? Then we can put aside the fact that they are managed by a ginger heided lucky hogbeast who only got the joab because no one else was interested and bask in the glory of victory.

And the fact that oor main neigboors are going through a bad spell but then that’s jingoistic and petty. But great fun if you listen to an English based talk radio station.

We also had a vested interest at the weekend in Mount Florida. Would Kenny Miller really be as bad for Scotland as he has been for us recently, would Paul Hartley thrive alongside Bazza and give the Scots a million buck player performance and would the Beats get on the park and stay on his feet long enough to do anything of note?

So after a few biers on Friday night, I drunkenly invited some mates roond to watch the Scotland game in ma hoose. See bier was the real reason not the fact I was interested. So 12.30 came and they arrived wie cans of Scotland’s finest Miller who always hit the spot unlike oor Kenny.

Anyway, the game started and the usual banter in mixed company started. Well, I say mixed, 6 Tims and one orc. Davy Weir was termed the old git, Bazza termed the fud, Hartley, Zico Boyd,, eh Boydchenko and Kenny Miller was termed that useless wee fecker. The rest well, to tell you the truth who the hell are the rest? Teale, Alexander and Naysmith are hardly renowned for their eye-catching performances on match of the day.

The Georgians well apart from Mr Bean were unknown. They were a load of ladzes, unknown to us. After the 1st twenty minutes they proved they were a decent side. The wee podgy, slightly receding winger who ripped the scots apart looked like he should be running a kebab shop rather than running the wing.

But again us are ignorant to other nations who are not top drawer. Bar the top 20 sides in the world the meeja and fans go into hyperbole and think we should be beating them. They don’t take into the fact that the majority of sides in world will have better technical ability than us.

This was proved as the Georgians tried to pass their way through while Scotland went direct more often than not by passing the midfield and thus causing oor Zico to charge aboot like a heidless chicken chasing lost causes and closing doon the second ball after Kenny had lost it.

All the hoop players involved reverted to type. Big Mick after a shaky performance came onto to his usual uncompromising game. He will never be a Maldini or a Rio but he disnny try to be. If Elvis replaces him in Bari then Big Feck better hope he gets lucky again. After Mick's performance in Milan and Saturday then he should be a defo starter.

Hartley see above, charged aboot to no effect and makes you wonder if it’s going to be next season before you see the best from him. But then again has his performance really dropped or is the fact that when you see him alongside better players he disnny stand oot like a Scotsman in the Hearts line up?

Up front oor Kenny again was woeful. Full of running but lacks the end product to ever make it as a top-drawer player. It says a lot that the most natural striker have got will be dropped from a tall building for a guy whom a coo’s arse wie a banjo springs to mind just because he runs aboot. Mind you oor most natural finisher was dropped for sseeebboooo…

The beats came on, fell doon wie his first touch and his running style is looking increasingly daft. Like an injured antelope is being chased by a lion, unsteady on his feet and looks like popping his clogs at anytime. He scored wie a run doon the shinny mis-hit after Kenny had caused panic in the Georgian defence by flicking on a cross.

These two jokers last week, didnae look like they could trouble sleep and when eck paired them up front I thought his reputation as, a no very guid coach was justified. But hey ho a last minute mis-hit and the lucky hog beast again faws in the river forth and comes oot wie a salmon.

Funny to hear the meeja’s take on the last minute goal. When we score last minute winners we are lucky when it happens to eck it’s cause of his subs and the will of his team not to gie up. Now the token orc, in ma hoose, stated at the time of the subs that he wanted as many hoops on the park in the final 10 minutes as they would never give up. Always likely to score. Strange that eh?

I found maself in a strange position after the match. Yes, I was counting how many points Scotland should get in the remaining games. We all were arguing over whether 10, 11 or 12. I say 10 as I think the Georgians will beat us on their patch they deserved a draw on Saturday make no mistake. So how come this change of being interested in International fitbaw has happened?

Simple, we are winning and it is involving guys who play for oor-supported teams. Right, Bazza will always be a fud, Weir an old git and Boydchenko, boydchenko but I want Zico, Mick, Miller and Beats to do well. It was also nice wee Shaun coming on looking like his big fat wage packet was weighing his arse doon.

It was guid that Beats scored and Miller gave according to the press a guid performance as that makes them easier to shift as in the lineage of Celtic strikers they don’t make the grade at CP. Maybe that sums up the national team.

Anyway we are all going to the pub tomorrow to watch the game, as we enjoyed Saturday. So will you being seeing me do in a deer and wearing a see you jimmy hat? Nah chance, the introduction of more hoop players to the squad has got me mildly interested in Scotland. It’s not life of death.

That comes at Tanideechie at 12.30 on Saturday.

FORZA Scotl…..the Hoops but guid luck the Scottish Tims!

The LOTW Diary- Thursday

Arsene Fawkirk

The faw oot from the whipping at Westfield continues wie the main bone of contention being the sending off and Lenny’s petulant spat wie the fawkirk fans. Now while geing them the bird is ok in ma book it’s not ok in the SFA offices or by some wee nae mark fan that will have complained aboot the gesture.

This twice in two defeats, do you think there is a link there? Lenny has reacted to fans berating him. This is not an uncommon action by him but one again that leaves a bad taste in collective mouths. Why can’t he just not accept defeat wie the grace and dignity of a Celtic captain? Why does he always have to act like a scorned bully who has become the bullied?

Anyway, Fawkirk seem to have become angels and their players and fans seem to have a case of Arsene Wenger syndrome. Hear no evil, see evil.

Fawkirk have had 3 players sent of this season. Two as far as I know for violent conduct. Darren Barr’s against Hearts was rescinded but in the eyes of the law he lifted his hands so it was a red card. The Hearts boy over-reacted in that case and big Yogi went mad aboot it. Said that they had been cheated and it was a disgrace.

So what did he say aboot Sunday?

"Carl is not that type of boy and I thought it was just handbags stuff,"

So Mr Finnigan didnae cheat and isnny a disgrace to the game. He didnae go doon like a wannabe Loverkrands. It’s just not in his nature, just like it wisnae in Darren Barr’s nature to lift his hands against Hearts or in Darren’s Barr nature to act like a licensed thug for the whole of Sundays’ game man handling the beats at every opportunity.

And of course, any team wie Patrick Cregg and the boy O’Donnell in the midfield are holy virgins and widnae dream of leaving the boot in or throwing doon markers to the opposition I mean, there manager was an angel on the field of play and was against tackling and roughing up opponents wasn’t he?

One rule for one and one for another. Fawkirks reaction post match has made them join the list of teams I want relegated. They shouldn’t have had got promoted wie that shite hole of a ground.

King O’ Kings

Wasn’t it great to hear the Henke interview on Radio hootsmon the other night? For a guy blessed wie so much he is a humble sort. He was the greatest Celt I have ever seen, partly due to the fact that I never saw Jinky, and gave me so much joy. By the sounds of the interview he enjoyed us as well.

With all the talk of Boydchenko probably beating his league scoring record, he is on the way to doing it already, we all know the Scottish meeja will draw comparisons but that’s like comparing a racehorse to a Blackpool donkey. Henke was so much more than a goalscorer, he was talismanic a leader of men who drew inspiration from him to reach greater heights.

A fact not missed by those who know aboot fitbaw. Left Celtic after his peak years went on to a bigger club won the biggest prize available in European club fitbaw. He then retired from top-flight fitbaw only to come oot and play for the “biggest club in the world” for a few months, jist for a laugh and jist because he could.

Where will Boydchenko go when he finishes? Clyde, Motherwell, Preston, Derby or the Louden Bar welfare 11? He won’t be anywhere near Catalonia or Trafford Baw Park.

What made Henke different I think was summed up in two finals. Firstly Seville. On that hot night he dragged a team back into the game wie two pieces of brilliance. The way he hung in the air for those goals was special. When we were all thinking it was a step to far he gave us hope, he made us believe on and of the park that we deserved to be contesting that final.

Interesting to hear that he has never watched that final. Heard a few of the Seville team say that. I haven’t either. Got the DVD but it always gets switched off before the final. Still never seen the goals apart from real time in the stadium.

Will get round to it one day.

His second pinnacle moment came unfortunately not wie us. Last years European Cup final will be remembered as the Henke cup final as he came on and changed the game. In a team containing Eto, Ronaldinho and Xaxi that is no mean feat.

Don’t think I have ever been as pleased for an ex hoop as I was that night. Right, he got us straight into the CL wie the two assists but more in that I thought he deserved it. He deserved to have a CL winners. He deserved to have Ronaldinho begging him to stay- look on you tube and type in Larsson last game for Barcelona, did have a link but canny find it- and he also deserved to have the smelly Mancs wanting him to stay as well.

He said in the interview that he was stubborn and loved people telling him that he couldnae do something. Well after oor strikers performance recently I don’t think Henke could come back to his home and regain his form and score as many goals as before:-) are you reading Henke?

Who is The Best From 85?

Last night, Celtic Tv had a nostalgia night. It started of with “In praise of Cesar” a look back at the centenary season wie the old Scotsport lackey Ian Archer. Then the 1969-cup final was shown in glorious Technicolor.

Now, I have seen this cup final a few times but I have never seen the attempted pitch invasion from der hun after the fourth goal. Why is this never been included before? I mean I know crowd disturbances from them are the norm but this blatant attempt to get the game abandoned should be included in all future mentions of that game.

Then there was an interview wie Dixie Deans. Now I think Dixie was the John Hartson of his day, overweight and under valued. Last night the footage of his playing career gave weight to the notion that the hoops add pounds to you but, mind you, the fact there was a belly hanging oot below those hoops….

Anyway, it got me thinking. Since this is international week and most are not interested in big eck’s wonders then a wee poll to keep us interested. I’ve done cult heroes in the hoops so I’m going to do the greatest hoops 11 since love street 1985.

I have chosen Love Street 85 as ma start date as I was nine and only really remember players from that date vividly. See seven and me are young pups, I think, compared to the rest pf you:-)

So here is ma 11.

Arfur, McGrain, Elliot, Aitken, Shuggie, Naka, Petrov, McStay, Thommo, Larsson and Sutty.

Let the games commence.

Forza the hoops who will have ma support at Tanideechie as after Baldy reminding me aboot big Sieb I decided that I like Dundee and got a ticket.

The LOTW Diary- Hoops 0 Fawkirk 1

Blur V Oasis…It’s 1994 Again.

So GS team 2 has matched the feat of the legendary Luigi era at CP when his team of charlatans, journeymen and the not very guid went 3 matches withoot a win or a bloody goal. Fact is Kenny Miller would fit perfectly into that side, as would GS management and tactical ability if the last two games are anything to go by.

Withoot a clue is an understatement.

But, then it was different. Then it was terminal, now, for me, it is a blip that has been coming for months. We were always going to end up paying for oor indifferent performances and the fact that we are too inconsistent in front of goal. Oor lack of creativity and the reliance on oor flair players was always going to come undone. Mind you, we pay oor flair players to produce but they are always going to lose form.

The last time we lost at Fawkirk, it was at the sesh pool that was Brockville and funnily enough was in 1994. An intimidating place where if you didnae fancy it you got a shooing. Westfield is another hell hole but in a different way. In no way is it intimidating, surreal but not intimidating.

You have to ask ourselves did we fancy it? It didnae seem so.

GS yer having a laugh

Wie this quote……

"On a good day, on a better finishing day, a better decision day, we'd have won the game easily.
"It just seemed to be 90 minutes of making chances and dominating."
"So it's concerning just now, but what I'm not concerned about is the attitude of the players," added Strachan.
"We're having a problem time in terms of results right now, but we've not got a real problem in terms of our attitude or the way we're playing."

Was he watching the same game as us? His “dominating and making chances” quote is the funniest thing I have heard in years. Yes, possession wise we dominated but creating chances? We had a few before they scored but after that, apart from the few half shouts for pens, we were left to hump aimless balls into the box for centre forwards who never showed or looked interested all day.

What was the plan B? Well oor ending formation reeked of a punter who has lost his wages on a Thursday night and was doon to his last fiver. He needed a big win so he backs a rank outsider so that he has sheckles to take hame to the wife.

Hartley in a back three, Elvis upfront, Lenny still on the park, looking back it was chaos. The team lack shape and cohesion and urgency. There was no oot the box thinking from the coaching staff yesterday just a kind of forlorn hope that the changes might have worked. Sometimes they have worked this year and credit where credit is due but last weeks 2nd performance and yesterdays 2nd half performance was well embarrassing wie the riches we have on the park.

And that’s all doon to attitude. But GS is happy wie that……

Walk a Million Miles

Oor lack of centre forwards is coming home to roost. We have been creating chances for months and not taking them. In the last wee blip we had- the series of drawn games in December- not killing of teams was the problem. Thing is now when you are not playing well you maybe only get one or two chances and do us and the players trust the strikers to take them?

If Kenny Miller wisnny Scottish the meeja would be ranking him alongside Sebo, Van Vossen etc. he is that bad I think the green brigade should add him to their banner. GS has been proved he was right to drop him but why recall him? He offers nothing to the team expect an outlet ball. Even then he loses it.

Hate to say but oor doubts have been proved right aboot oor Kenny.

And where the hell is Derek Rioirdan? Natural finisher was in a great run of form before he got injured and he can sniff oot a chance like Kate Moss can sniff oot an indie superstar in a sweaty nightclub. Wisnny quoted yesterday. Maybe he was at Hampden right enough….

Now I’m one to eat humble pie or any sort of pie, so here it goes, it we hadn’t sold Hartson we would have won the league by today. The style we try and play and the amount of aimless balls we put in the box would have been cannon fodder for the big fellow. Hell, it we had someone like Boydchenko the league would have been wrapped up by now. Think I’ve took that too far there.

But it's clear where or troubles are and maybe the midfield have been getting a raw deal.

Paddy Cregg

After ma slice of humble pie, still huvnae mentioned Jaro yet, cast yer mind back to January and when we lost oot on the Hibee twins. I said Patrick Cregg was always ma first choice for the wee nark role as, well I’m not beating aboot the bush, he is one of us.

Yesterday proved again he could add something to oor midfield. With Lenny being increasingly petulant I feel wee Paddy could be the perfect replacement. I mean we replace one Irish hot heid for a younger, quicker and less ginger version. Jobs a guid un I say.

International Week.

With two weeks before the next game we have time to dwell on oor crisis. For me this break comes at the wrong time and the build up to the united game will heap pressure on the team. In fact the Dundee Utd game is now monumental and a must win.

I hate being hard on the team. Moaning during success makes me feel, well, hunish. The team have done superbly getting us to this position where we can lose two league games in a row and it really disnny matter. They have shown tremendous attitude to pull us oot of the mire at times but that isnny always going to work. Defeats make you question things that you always doubted anyway.

Think it has also proved that even though GS has afforded himself leeway to build team 3 his vision of team two has failed to materialise. We will win the league and more inlikley the double but the doubts that we should being doing so much better in a better style remain.

We all know we can’t play well in every game. We know we can’t win every game. I think all we want to see is a bit of effort and style. Unfortunately style disnny always win things.

Next two weeks are going to be long so I’m going to go for a boat trip wie Freddie Flintoff to see if we can find the ghost of wee jinky. Mair interesting than internationals anyway.

Forza the stuttering hoops

The LOTW Diary- Thursday

O’Dea is the new Kennedy.

News that Darren O’Dea signed a new deal wie the hoops on the back of the recently capture of another Irishman in Cillian Sheridan shows were oor future lies. Both youngsters have made their debut this season and both have shown enough to merit new deals.

More so O’Dea’s whose rise to prominence reminds us of another centre back that he could be partnering next season. John Kennedy and O’Dea both basically made their names wie big performances on the biggest stage of the lot.

Both had impressed domestically but it was the Nou Camp and the San Siro where both had the support slavering over them. Both became great white hopes to carry the torch of possibly becoming great centre backs as permitting of oor history.

A massive weight on young shoulders one, which we will need to afford both players time to make their mistakes and learn from them if they are to fulfil promise. Luck has dealt them differently though.

The assault on Kennedy playing in a meaningless international robbed him of years playing experience, which big Mick has benefited from. O’Dea benefited also from an injury suffered by a colleague. Scott Cuthbert was ahead of O’Dea in the pecking order when injury robbed him of the chance to play against St Mirren in the CIS cup a game, which O’Dea made his debut.

We need to hope O’Dea’s luck holds oot and fate keeps dealing him winning hands while lady luck shines on JFK.

The Future Of Elvis

Now when next season rolls into toon, a full compliment of young centre halves could be fit and raring to go. Big Mick has established himself as a stick on starter due to his willingness to learn and play through the pain barrier, sometimes to the detriment to the team right enough.

Gary Caldwell, Micks partner in crime at the start of this champion year, had just started to win over the doubters when the cursed injury jinx struck and saw him suffer for the fact that he had played wie that injury for a few games due to the returning Bobo Bombscare breathing doon his neck.

In came the aforementioned O’Dea, in front of the aforementioned Scott Cuthbert and then we have the returning John Kennedy. So where does that leave Bobo and Elvis?

Bobo, I’m already talking aboot in past tense. His unreliability means the £28,000 a week is sheer folly of an expense and could be used on two new players in oor current financial climate. Elvis. Well he was bought as experienced cover due to Bobo’s injury but when all in sundry are fit and the fact that O’Dea has stepped up to the plate wie aplomb his future needs to be questioned.

The big man has split the support as wide as seeebbbboooo split open his napper on Sunday. While most think he has went aboot his business professionally others see him as the spawn of Chewbacca and to blame for the worst r*ngers team in history getting a result on Sunday.

Now, he had nothing to do with oor inept performance or the goal we lost on Sunday but I think most would agree that in the CL next season he will get roasted. Long term he should be a bit part player next season along wie Lenny. Experience on the bench to be wheeled oot every so often. But Elvis is different from Lenny.

Do we really need his experience at the back? I mean big Mick has two full seasons under his belt and has more CL experience than Elvis. Caldwell and O’Dea have more CL experience than Elvis. Scottish league, Caldwell is a veteran with even more seasons under his belt than Mick, he was also the Hibs captain. O’Dea has 16 games under his belt with more to come towards the end of the season and the return of Kennedy before the seasons oot will see him get decent and needed airtime.

So do we need Elvis?

The Bitterest Pill

Now, while don’t like seeing Scots fans causing bother or being involved in bother abroad and I have 1st hand experience of Spanish, Italian and Portugese ,ahem, crowd control last nights re-enactment of the battle at helms deep in the Basque country have left me feeling not the slightest bit sorry for them.

Last week, we were in Milan and the chaos outside and getting into the ground I have already described. The section I ended up in was not segregated and Milan fans were a matter of yards from us. There was no hint of trouble, the banter was fierce but friendly and we were all pals at the final whistle. I mean you don’t turn up to someone’s home for a party get steaming and pee on their carpet do you?

So the heidie of the brox security team to flag up lack of segregation as the problem for their latest woes in a long line of woes in Europe over the last few years is laughable.

Maybe he should try and look at the behaviour of his own. Wonder if they turned up to someone’s home for a party, abused the hosts religious beliefs and sang songs aboot being up to their knees in the hosts blood and how they hate the hosts religious leader and expected to be still around for the buffet?

And they wonder why it always happens to them?

After their behaviour at CP on Sunday, as in the review of the game, I hope the Spanish Polis went to town on them. Aboot time they learned a bit of respect and dignity. But is it any coincidence that their behaviour is degenerating since the return of r*ngers men to take control of the team?

Title Party Cancelled

On to the new Brockville this Sunday wie hopefully a run oot for a few fresh legs, like Riordan are you reading this GS?, and O’Dea giving Mick a well deserved rest. Hopefully we may have seen the last of KM in a starting berth wie maybe the beats and magic the chance to strike up an understanding. See I’m already accepting that JVOH is injured.

Anyway I have decided not to take up the offer of a ticket in the Graham Tiso tent behind the goals. Would have took the risk mingling wie the fawkirk “fans” who canny afford bus fare if we could have wrapped up the championship but sense and ma dignity have prevailed since we canny win the league.

Tanadeechie after the uninteresting internationals it looks like. Time to perfect ma Dundee accent then.

Jinky

Tuesday was the 1st anniversary of the wee man’s death. There was no announcement from the club of any sort of lasting tribute to the wee man. Surely it would have been fitting to announce anything they have planned then.

Naming Lennoxtown after the wee man is what I’m after.

Jimmy Johnstone RIP.

FORZA THE HOOPS

The LOTW Diary- Hoops 0 Them 1

Congratulations……You Have Won 2nd Place Not The World Cup

But to watch them at the final whistle yesterday you would have thought they had. All their chest thumping and top throwing was as embarrassing as another Lenny rattle oot the pram moment. Yes, sir listening to the slavering hoards last night that are usually not seen after derby games the peepell are back.

Tradition, fighting spirit and the cause are all buzz words. Wally and Sally have got them all in a laver over there emergence as a “force”. Let them dream even though they got a result yesterday that was doon to oor failings rather than them and the fact that yesterday was the best opportunity to beat us for a long time. If they had failed to do so you may as well have switched off the lights on Scottish Fitbaw.

Still nice to see their traditions of thuggery and jammy-ness are alive and well in the form of Adam, Bazza, Weir and Ugo. Don’t play fitbaw just boot the better players. Bring it on hopefully we will have learned something from yesterday for the return at the brox.

With a return to their traditions it is easy to hate them again. I only have to look at the wee fat oaf on the touchline wie the shorts on now to get ma blood boiling. After years of feeling sorry rather than hate the return of custodians means a return to doon right hatred.

Hope the get their comeuppance Oh so suna.

Celtic fans are racist

One wag returning from CP yesterday let slip that the hunny hoards had complained aboot racist abuse being dished oot from us towards their new Gough Ugo. When he was pulled up aboot these comments he went on to say monkey noises were audible in their end.

Biggest load of bolloxs I have heard. Mind you it wouldn’t be the first time monkey noises had been heard in their end right enough.

When the wag was asked aboot the dambuster actions towards Naka, which he found funny and the Big Jock Knew banner, which he says was true he was nonplussed. With guys like him willing to drag their support lower into the gutter it’s no wonder that bigotry is alive and well in Govan.

With those to actions they sunk to a new low…wonder if any of the meeja will come oot of wallies arse long enough to comment?

Lack Of Options

We had seen the story before. Played them off the park miss, chances and eventually succumb to a stoppable goal and leg weariness a few home truths were spelt oot.

We require a goal scorer to take the pressure of the one legged half fit JVOH. Miller, The Beats and Magic have been tried and failed. KM yesterday was oor seeeebo. After his mouthings regarding getting a regular game his performance just backs up the managements judgement that he deserved to be dropped.

Oor midfield lacked drive and unfortunately for us Tommy G and Hartley to men who would have added drive was oot. Sno and Lenny are peas in a pod but have no creativity whatsoever. Sno plays wie the shackles on when Lenny is there and Lenny disnny compliment Sno. With oor wide players having an of day we required something different from the middle instead we got panic and raggedness when we went a goal doon.

GS should have changed it earlier and the introduction Jaro in a midfield roll not up front could have made a difference. Then again the tank was empty by that point wie JVOH making there back line look like players and or wide players not wanting the ball.

The introduction of Riordan was a little to late even though he went close wie one effort he came into a team befit of ideas except punt it up and hope for the best. Mick up front was an embarrassing tactical switch and showed how desperate we were.

But saying that the run we have been on we have one games we shouldn’t have. Oor luck was going to run oot and we were going to pay for a dodgy performance one of these times. Why did it have to be yesterday though?

Jungle Boys v The Green Brigade

Nice to see these two groups adding a bit of colour to the proceedings yesterday. The JB’s banners are smart and full of tradition while the GB’s banners are witty and European. After the game in the midweek it was nice to see banner displays like that and hopefully both groups will continue with their efforts.

Maybe Celtic will gie them some dosh to spend rather than actively trying to chance one of them from the ground eh?

The Final Word

I’ll leave it to Frankie bhoys love child Aiden McGeady…

“if we had put oor chances away it would have been a different story but they got their goal and were up for it. They will be buzzing now they have beaten us, but over the season the STATS DON’T LIE”

FORZA THE CHAMPIONS

The LOTW Milano Diary

"Ye can stick yer Thomas Cook up yer archie"

Was the song of choice from the independent travelling hoops on Tuesday and Wednesday. The feeling of resentment to the package operator and Peter Lawell was an on-going theme to everyone i spoke to.

Those who travelled via Germany, Swizterland and Outer Mongolia were all of the opinion that Thomas Cook are ticket touts and Peter Lawell needs to have a decent look at himself wie his comments.

Questions need to be asked why Lawell didnae want the fans to travel. Are they embarrassed by us? Sometimes it is easy to see why they could take that view. Our cultures take on European travel and the fact that,ahem," We're all mad for the bevvy, man" makes oor jovial antics sometimes cringe worthy.

This is not Celtic's problem though. It's a problem regarding the Scottish, Irish and English upbringing and culture. I mean, it disnny matter if all the fans travelled on TC a lot of those fans were in the same jovial mood as the independent lot.

Even though the fine line between banter and embarrassment is crossed there is never a hint of trouble. The atmosphere never turns nasty, messy maybe, but never nasty.

Even when we get herded of the metro, by big polis wie big sticks who seem to want to bash you, onto basically a cage on wheels and took to the ground.

Even when you turn up two hours before kick off to find yerself in the middle of a crush and stuck on a staircase when for a few minutes you feared the worst due to yer section already being full wie fans wie tickets from other sections of the ground.

There was never a hint of trouble. In fact on that staircase the hoops fans done well to get everyone to turn back. We never turned on the stewards who were getting over-run we just went up the next staircase and ended up in the 2nd tier wie all the Milan fans!!!

Ok, we did get moved into a section in the second tier above the nearside corner flag and in that section Hoops that had tickets for behind the goals, official and unofficial, where put due to the vast number of fans turning up wie tickets.

Me and Seven had tickets for completely different areas of the ground. We watched the game together. All this is a recipe for disaster but not for us. We got on wie it and all we wanted to do was back oor team. We were happy that we had got in. Thankful for AC being greedy for cash.

Still there was nothing nasty. No hint of trouble. The fact that we all got in was Celtics worst nightmare. The fact apart from the confusion there was no hint of bother in the stadium was their worst nightmare. The worst thing of all AC but themselves at a massive risk, but a calculated risk, that we were trustworthy. Something Celtic didnae seem to want to do.

If we hadn't got in the game would have lost something. Oor support is special on those kinds of nights. It made me proud looking aboot in the ground hearing the songs- Celtic songs- and the backing that we were giving the team. It's something that i thought we had lost.

It proved Lawell and Co have someway to eradicating us the fans and replacing us wie consumers.

The Italian Roar

The Ac fans played their part as well. The constant noise coming from behind the goals was breath taking. The brigate, the panthers, Alba Rossoneri and the drunk company kept the noise going in tactical bursts. Completly different from what we do but none the less very impressive.

When they scored, they noise they made was incredible. It wisnae like the noise here. We are a sort of "yyyyyeeeeessssss" they where a sort of "wwwwwwwwwooooooooooohhhhhhhhh" it sounded like a plane taking off. It echo round the space ship looking stadium shaking the stands. Even in such a sickening moment it was hard not to be to impressed. I mean ma hairs on the back of ma neck stood up.

I was looking to be impressed wie the fans. Always wanted to go to Italia to see a game with or withoot the Hoops. There fans seem to have a passion that we seem to be losing. I wasn't disappointed in the fans or the san siro. In fact i will go back to see AC who even though the ended oor dreams in the biggest game since Seville didnae leave the sour taste Porto did.

In fact i want them to go on and win it.

Another Glorious Failure

It was hard not to feel anything but proud of oor team. Again, though there was nagging doubt that we shoulnae really accept defeat but in the cold light of day we know oor place in the grand scheme of things.

Some will talk aboot PSV results and how we are a bigger club, which is true but PSV team has a lot more experience at this level than us. We had a team of rookies, youngsters and experienced players who are far from the top drawer. We had no right to go 180 minutes withoot losing a goal against a European heavyweight.

They knew they had been in a game. Their celebrations proved that we had run them close but not close enough. We were done by a bit of quality, a bit of quality we couldnae produce over the two games. The bottom line is we knew we lacked that creative quality and were relying on one decent ball into the box.

We accepted the Scottish trait of glorious failure due to this. We were proud of oor teams honest toil and sweat. All we asked was to give them a game and we done that. While we can gripe aboot tactics and formations the fact si we didnae have any failures, some had poor games but no-one hid or didnae try. In the aftermath of the game a few things came clearer.

While Naka is a fantastic player, the Milan games proved he is not top drawer. Along wie Tommy G, Jaro and JVOH these players are middle order european class. They will always get clubs who compete regular in Europe but will never get a move to a really big club.

For us to find someone of the class of Kaka we will have to get lucky. Arfur Boruc is the perfect example. He will move to a bigger club than Celtic. We need to find an outfield Arfur. We also need to hope that oor youth set up starts producing players of a slightly higher standard, which judging by the performances of the youngsters we could be on the way to.

Don't want to highlight individual players. They all done us proud. Just hope that we have many other nights that don't end in glorious failure but we all know we will. It's the Celtic way......

FORZA THE MIGHTY PROUD HOOPS WHO HAVE THE CHANCE TO TOP OF A GUID WEEK BY A WEE RESULT TOMORROW.

The LOTW Diary- Hoops 2 Pars 1 + Milano

The Goon Show

Yesterday saw an almost jovial Tommy G revel in his first starting appearance in eons. While having a passing resemblance to Al Murray the pub landlord he decided to entertain us wie a mixture of skill and sheer daftness.

Again he showed us he has a range of passing to die for, close control and ability that improves any team and also an energy that is infectious. He also showed us that he is as mad as a brush with his histrionics when things didnae go the way he wanted.

Lee Naylor and Sno were party to his rants after baws had gone astray. His tendency to throw his hands in the air after something went wrong or jump in the air stamping his feet was like watching a wean not getting a tube of smarties in a supermarket.

GS again has to get the magic notebook oot and tell him where he should have been, him and Sno after the pars had the cheek to score starting charging around in two’s trying to get the ball leaving gaps everywhere but Tommy done enough for me to hope he stays.

But it’s ok having a guid game against a lost cause of a team wonder when he will do it when it matters?

Sno and Naka Show

One thing that was noticeable yesterday was how quick the ball was moved around the middle of the field. It was also prominent that Naka was moving inside more to play forward thinking one two’s wie Sno. The interplay of those two yesterday was a feature I enjoyed almost as much as watching the stands clear from ma seat in the gods when those hail staines came on.

Both showed fitbaw intelligence with their one and two touch moves wie Sno particular seeming to revel in his heid honcho role withoot the man from Lurgan alongside him.

If movement is the future well I for one can’t wait.

Kenny Brattbakk

Game should have been loused by half time yesterday. The pubs round CP should have been full will cauld and wet hoops getting a heat. But it wisnae was doon to woeful finishing by both oor strikers. 5 decent chances in the 6-yard box between them.

The beats played gingerly and had a stecky run that he always seems to have when he comes back from injury. Its almost antelope like his strides and this comes from a fear of opening up his legs and going for it. The run oot hopefully would have done him guid but again could set him back weeks, months or even years if the injury flairs up again.

Kenny Miller could have had a confidence boosting hat trick yesterday but instead produced a miss that will be remembered like a Van Vossen or a Bratbakk. How did he hit the underside of the bar from 6 yards I will never know? Actually that takes a bit of ability to do, if he meant it.

Bottom-line is if he gets a chance to trouble the Milan defence wie his pace he may only get one opportunity the whole game. Unfortunately the chances of him taking it seem very slim.

Scott Wilson is a Thug

That’s all that needs said really.

A Lions View

Yesterday, at CP while promoting another lunch in honour of the Lions, and of course, the Lions looking forward to another free lunch and free jolly, deservedly so I must add, but it disnny half give the impression that we are living in the past and the launch of the new 40th anniversary kit cements that outsiders view of us.

As the naesayers whinge “England 66” and “Celtic 67” on the crap phone ins and that we never shut up aboot them. But stuff them. We won the big cup and we brought it back and this week we are on big cup duty.

Tommy Gemmill, I think was on the wine before this interview wie his quote

"If you get through by putting Milan out in Milan, then there is no reason why they should fear anyone else in the competition. This is a huge game."

A tad optimistic there I think but, hey ho, I will go wie it but in all honesty I don’t think many of the teams left will fear playing us, which is a guid thing.

Ceasar added his two bob worth as well with the ticketing fiasco in a statement that reeks of him preserving his self-interest wie the club.

"It can be dangerous in any ground. I am sure the club will try to dissuade them from going," he said. "It is a great stadium and everyone wants to experience it, but we do not want any problems.
"Celtic fans always want to travel to support their team but maybe they can be a bit over-enthusiastic about going to see their team."

Over-enthusiastic us? Is this the same fans yer asking pay decent dosh to sit and have lunch wie you? Or the same over enthusiastic fans that have treated you like a legend, you are, over the years? Or the same over-enthusiastic fans that has won fair play awards and is welcomed all over Europe?

Again a chance to defend oor reputation has been missed by a club great.

Anyway, Billy I will be one of those over-enthusiastic fans, practising pigeon Italian and trying to get in no matter what. If ye want to discuss ma enthusiasm then come to the piazza del doume and I will be close by along wie a few thousand other over enthusiastic fans.

The Italian Joab.

Fly oot on Tuesday wie a heavy heart. When the draw was made I decided to book independently rather than go the offisal charter from the over priced Thomas Cook. Ma reasoning was that last time in the san siro the hoops got 8000 tickets and also Milan wouldn’t see us as a top draw so if push came to shove a ticket for the Milan end was always an option.

Of course times have changed, or have they, will the Italian polis actually implement their security measures and having had a look at the Celtic end tickets yesterday the muted names on the tickets has again proved to be a bear faced lie from the club.

When I booked I had no interest in watching the game in a racecourse, listening to Charlie and the bhoys, ahem, or in a pub. I still don’t. Ma £170 for a two night stay was only great value if I got a ticket for the game. Now it’s looking like an expensive £170 to watch it in a boozer.

Now thinking for another £50.00 I could have just went the day trip and got a ticket through the offisal charter. Just as Celtic want. In the auld days travelling hundreds of miles withoot a ticket was the norm for me, the bevvy and the craic wie the lads made up for the lack of tickets.

Now I just want to see ma team and thinking like the consumer Celtic want me to be wie regretting not going on the offisal charter. Or I could end up being a rebel in the Milan end giving the finger to the powers at be…..whatever, I’m sure it will be interesting either way.

FORZA THE FOREVER OVER ENTHUSIASTIC HOOPS WHOM I WISH STAY OVER ENTHUIASTIC AND NOT BECOME CONSUMERS.

THE LOTW DIARY

Lorra, Lorra Cilla

The introduction of the bhoy from Cavan against Inversenkie has caused a bit of a stir. Cillian Sheridan, the lanky, needs a guid feed looking, 18 year old centre forward has got the meeja and the fans, who like to put the weight of the Jock Stein stand on young guys shoulders, in a spin and the rush to get quotes from guys in the “know” must have caused a fair gust of wind doon CP way.

I mean when he came on, we were informed by Iain Crocker, the Sky commentator lackie that he was an attacking midfielder a claim backed up by Davie Judas Provan. The guy was that unknown.

Anyway Joe McBride, is he THAT Joe McBride? came oot wie the usual insight that he is guid wie both feet, a target man in the JVOH mould, scored a barrowload of goals this season, you know the usual but he then told this story.

“He is basically a shy and quiet guy but you could say he is a typical Irishman. On one of the bus journeys in Villarreal we tried to get a singsong going among the boys but no one would get up.
“But once Cillian got up, there was no getting him down again. I hope he makes it as a footballer because he will never make it as a singer.”

What? An Irishman singing songs on the team bus? Does Jock McConnell know aboot this? Could this be Celtic promoting secterianism? Hope their wasn’t any cameras aboot of the young Cilla’s carrer could be quashed by a Doanld oh the bluebells are blue Findlay moment.

Anyway, the big fellow struggled to get into the game and his lay off for the winner was all that he did of note. Hard game to come of the bench and one, which could have been detrimental to the lads career. What has to be put in focus is the lads rise to promiance is more to do wie injurys to a strike force that’s wrapped in cotton wool and the fact that a lot of the next generation are oot on loan in places like Fife and Dingwall.

Wouldn’t expect Cilla- it’s mine I came up wie the nickname- to feature heavily in the run in, as strikers regain fitness but hopefully the wee taste of the limelight will make him jog on and continue his rapid progress since playing for his local Sunday league side this time last year and a new 3 year deal for the lad means we will hopefully get the benefits.

Samuri Naka

Stranger and as rare as a Kenny Miller goal was the fact that Naka lost his cool on Sunday wie Rankin and the impressive Ian Balck. The Naka-rage moment ended wie Black being papped on his behind with a shoulder charge after the ball was away then a wee sly kick from the Japanese Internet king.
Naka, showed all the poise and diligence of a samuri as he got up and wander away thus leaving Black to get booked for his over-reaction. Could this have been when Naka broke the bone in his hand?

The news of the injury while not worrying was backed wie a more promising rumour that we were going to offer the bhoy Naka mair yen to sign a new deal at the club. This would be his second new deal in 12 months and one, which we all agree, his perfromances have deserved.

GS is now looking to the longer term with Naka being viewed as a model pro who we all should be learning from. He said

"You want to get kids to copy Naka as young as they can, and that's why we need to find out what he has been doing since he was 10."
"Our analysis shows he runs between 12.7 and 13 kilometres in a game. Against AC Milan, he did more running than anyone on the pitch. You can only do that if you have real fitness, and he has that because of the way he has lived since he was very young."

It’s a great ideal the wee fellow is pushing there but one that is very difficult to put into practice. Naka’s culture and discipline that he has been raised wie is completely different from the culture that all oor players come from. A culture that players Da’s coaches and all hingers on will fill a guid players heid full of nonsense so by the time he is 14 he thinks he is the dugs baws. Also I don’t think Fish Suppers, Burger Kings and Irn Bru are the staple diet of Japanese.

Now, while you all know I’m not a cynical bugger:-) surely this muted deal has nothing to do wie the rumoured punting of the media and internet rights for funny cash due to the upturn in interest Naka has generated from Japan and the far east? Surely it has nothing to do wie Nike pushing us to hang on to a marketable commodity in the massive far east market?

Surely it’s for purely fitbaw reasons?

Milan Beamback In the Piazza Del Duomo?

Like thousands of others I arranged to travel to Milan on the wim that if I was unlucky in the ballot, ahem what ballot?, then the san siro is vast enough that a ticket for the Milan end would be no problem. Also knew a couple of co-orperate prawn munchers that would take their allocation then lazily pass them on to meself.

Well we are all up the creek withoot a paddle eh?

By the looks of it if yer no going wie the rip off offisal partner then yer chances of attending the san siro are nowt. The guys who have already bought tickets for the Milan end are in for plums unless they can speak Italian, are a AC season ticket gadgie and look Italian and not a skinny white, well oiled hootsman in a kilt and a glint in his eye.

Celtic’s pandering to the Italian authorities over the ticketing issue reeks of distrust. The fact that we need to produce passports and go through the same checks the Italians- who are in bother not us- to enter the stadium shows a lack of backbone from the Celtic board. Remember how many fair play awards have the fans won?

With the Italians demanding that every ticket has a named owner and a passport to prove they are Sean Fergus O’Kane fae Easterhoose then the natural distribution of tickets that happen at such events can’t happen.

The usual natural event is the bigwigs get the tickets then canny be arsed going and pass them on to us minions who gladly take them. Also that we usually know someone whose supporters club gets an allocation or someone from the Association or Affilation who are always willing to dish oot returned briefs.

The fact that Celtic have succumb to the Italians request means that more than a few regular travellers- who canny be arsed wie the overpriced offisal charters, which when I think aboot it, surely Celtic cornering that market wie the incentive of a ticket is against the free trade laws or something like that? I mean basically they are trying to get you to go wie their travel company and discouraging you to travel independently, unless there is loads of tickets to be had….- that get their tickets this way will miss oot.

And why? All because Celtic couldnae say to the Italians that they trust their distribution method of the tickets and who would end up with them.

Makes you glad they value and trust oor support eh?

Into the Valley

I have absolutely nothing against Dunfermline. They don’t get ma loins stirring like a Hearts or a Motherwell. I canny find nothing to hate aboot them. While I hope they don’t win on Saturday, I hope they stay up as they are more deserving cases for relegation, again see Hearts or Motherwell.

Their new coach Stephen Kenny, strikes me as an affable man, good in the interview and has some guid ideals which in the long term the pars might benefit from. He handles the spectre of the so called Fife bard in Jim Leishamn hanging over his shoulder very well while most would want to tell him to get stuffed wie his dodgy rhymes.

Another thing that has impressed me aboot Kenny is that he hasn’t went back and plundered his old clubs for players to get Dunfermline oot a hole. Other clubs, most notably Motherwell, have taken advantage of the fact the Irish league play in the summer and January was their close season. Kenny could have quite easily went and plundered his Derry City side offering his ex-players double of treble what they were earning- or supposed to be earning judging by the financial plight of the Irish league.

This would have been an easy out for him as I don’t think the Irish players would struggle in the SPL and Derry’s performances in Europe maybe showed that they could have flourished in oor league. Instead he stuck wie what he got and signed Scottish- I noticed he signed Tam McManus, the Riordan before Riordan, this week, that wee bugger always scores against us- in a bid to beat the drop.

Now while the Irish invasion may still happen when they end up in the 1st division and the financial realities bite I’m glad that he has gave the Scottish waste of spaces the time to dig themselves oot the hole they got themselves in.

Anyway, could they get a result on Saturday? They are playing a team wie one eye on Milan, a title in the bag and nae centre forwards. We are struggle for form and it will be interesting to see what kind of side GS puts oot.

One things for sure anything other than a professional performance and we could be looking at the pars winning at CP for the second time in 14 months.

Forza The Hoops, who are looking to Milan while not thinking aboot the Pars.